Grow Through What you Go Through
Some of you still may wonder what is Fastlife? Our show is on the verge of release and the only thing I can do is blog about it and post it on social media until you can actually see it. It is a racing and family show about how we are attempting to live our dreams and about our life as a family. We are currently at the mercy of the streaming platform, awaiting the news that our show is up. I did get an e-mail from the distributor just the other day that they have requested some additional information which leads him to believe that the show should be streaming at the top of the year. Yay! It's so hard to be patient and life is requiring so much of it right now. From the outside looking in, it may seem like we've got it all the together,
but as the show will prove and I can tell you this is not the case. Producing this show has been my biggest challenge yet next to raising kids. Sometimes there are days when I question if I have what it takes to make it. It's easy to look at others and think they have it all together. If you had it all together, you would not grow. Here is a story about a learning experience in our family that is proof that you really do grow through what you go through.
Derek and I just celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary. On this anniversary our teenagers were fighting a lot. Throughout our entire vacation it seemed that no matter what, somebody was having a problem with something almost 90% of the time. We had gone out to anniversary dinner and came back early to enjoy a toast with them. We sat and visited with them. They had plenty of attention from us as we had been on vacation enjoying lots of fun, beach time, and dinners. Derek and I were tired and wanted to go to bed and have some time together. Literally every 5 minutes there was a kid at the door with another problem. After the fourth or fifth time both Derek and I lost our patience with them and really didn't handle the situation as well as we would have liked. I was so angry with them that I became physically sick the next day. I hated that I yelled at them and lost my cool. I felt that they were being self absorbed and rude. One was tattling on the other and the other was reacting. I felt the most intense frustration with the way they were acting because we have been trying to help them see a kinder, better way to treat eachother for years. I wanted to give up. Derek had lost his cool too but held firm that they were getting nothing in that moment. They didn't even get to sleep in their bed. That night they were relegated to the floor, no phones, no treats that we bought for them, no nothing. They were to sleep on the floor in the living room. Needless to say I didn't sleep very well that night because I was ashamed of my anger. I knew that we had to find a way to teach them how to treat others and be thoughtful but I also knew that you can't force someone to learn if they don't choose to. Neither Derek or I slept well that night. I woke up exhausted the next day. I went out to find them both on the floor of the living room cuddled up together. I assigned them a job, using the Love and Logic technique of putting energy back into the family that they had taken. They were to clean the entire two bedroom condo including taking out the trash and doing the laundry before sharing with us what they were going to do to make the situation right. I apologized for my anger as did Derek. I then crawled back into bed, feeling like the meanest mom ever, and tried to rest while they cleaned.
Amazingly, about an hour and a half later, the condo was relatively spotless, the kids were very remorseful and sat us down and shared with us what they had learned and figured out from going through a very sleepless and uncomfortable night together. Paige shared that Haylee is her best friend in the whole world and that she desires to get a long with her better and be more kind. I have never heard her say that. She said that it was so uncomfortable on the floor and that she couldn't watch Haylee shivering alone on the other side of the living room floor. She offered for her to come and cuddle up with her. Haylee told us that in their time on the floor that they talked about ways that they could be more supportive to one another and better ways to communicate. Paige said that she was sore and that she actually thought about people that don't have beds and don't have the normal comforts that she enjoys. I cried partly out of frustration that we had to get so angry with them for them to learn but also out of relief that this lesson really did make a difference.
I've noticed in many situations in life observing others or in my own experiences that you really don't develop strong character without going through challenges. Life throws all kinds of challenges our way but the bigger and more patience and commitment they require, the more we are developing ourselves and growing. When I woke up the next day I thought of multiple ways I could have handled the situation better. Instead of beating myself up, I've just decided that I'll make note for next time of what I can do better. Even I learned something in the situation. And Derek reminded the girls that when you push people, sometimes you get the opposite response from the one you are looking for. This taught them that you must think before you act whenever possible, about the outcome you'd like to have in any situation.
If you find yourself in an uncomfortable phase, where you are needing quite a bit of patience or things are not smooth with your relationships, maybe a job isn't working out you aren't where you want to be with your dreams, just remember, you are growing and this too shall pass. Very shortly you will reap the rewards from the time and commitment you put into the uncomfortable situations even if it requires making an uncomfortable stand. It is through these times that we grow the most. Now it's off to surf a few more waves before we make our New Year's Resolutions and commit to the next challenges! Always moving forward in the FASTLIFE! Happy New Year to you from the FASTLIFE FAMILY. Keep pushing! Your dreams can come true if you are willing to work at them!
We'd love to hear what you are working on and your stories of character developing situations! Please leave us a comment and some feedback and stay tuned for our show announcement soon!