What a week! I think I could almost say that about any week in our crazy life. I am sure you can relate. In this day and age, life seems to be moving quickly no matter who you are and what your chosen career path is. The more access to information we have and options the busier we all seem to get. It seems we are like kids playing with the treadmill speed buttons...pushing the speed button faster and faster until our legs come out from under us by the impossible pace they are being asked to go! I've become comfortable saying "this is the fastlife". But over the last several weeks while we await the fate of the Fastlife show as Season 1 is in the hands of the distributor, I've been taking some time to reflect on how we spend our time.
This week has been full of unexpected challenges, some ongoing, and some new. With the holidays approaching I find myself pushing a little harder for fear of getting behind. It's a habit of anxious reacting and an unconscious reflex. The good news is I have become aware of it which is the first step to being able to do something about it. Derek was sick earlier this week and going through some relationship challenges and a little frustration with how the racing opportunities were shaping up. It's not a coincidence that he became physically ill. I've learned that everything is very connected! Our mindset and our thinking conscious or unconscious very much contribute to our health and well being. This is why that awareness is such an important factor in our mental health. We must understand and be aware of what we are thinking, taking in, our mental habits, and environment shaping our thinking. What we think, we become.
As we take a breath during the racing offseason and have time to reflect we have learned some important things which can only benefit us. We started all of this with the intention to live life to the fullest and to find our path. Now as we learn, it is very important to us that we give back by sharing with others not only our experiences but what has helped along the way. I think sometimes we look at people who have achieved success and we forget how much work goes into that success, and it's never just that person, usually there is a team supporting the person. The idea of connection is important to note here, as I don't believe we were designed to do everything by ourselves, otherwise God would have just created only one of us. We are here to work together and constantly develop ourselves so that we can be part of the team.
Connection can have its drawbacks if it includes action without awareness and solid boundaries. I have been learning that over time but this week put the exclamation point on it for me. Derek was down and out both physically and mentally with the racing and other life challenges, one of our daughters has been recovering from a car accident that has been somewhat overwhelming overloading us with scheduling of chiropractor, massage, and physical therapy sessions and all of the emotional stuff that goes along with that. The news is full of negativity which seems to breed more negativity and I have my own story to deal with. Unfortunately when we don't take time to sit quiet, meditate, and pray about things we often don't see ourselves clearly. It is hard to disconnect from someone or something that we don't know we are connected to. We are enmeshed with the others on our team and differentiation between our challenges and what we have control over and what others are dealing with can become difficult. This happened to me and I suddenly found myself anxious this week and not making myself a priority worrying about everyone else.
As a result of feeling anxiety myself and spartially a bi-product of being our daughter, Haylee's advocate for proper recovery from the accident, it was recommended by someone on our team to try out acupuncture. Haylee and I both went to our first sessions this week, she was first, I got to go the next day. Haylee was a little anxious at first as it was new, but what resulted was really interesting. We thought we were going to go in there and get some needles put in us and let them do what they do. Like any doctor or therapist, each one has a unique approach. We expected it to be a physical process and that it would help some of the muscle tension. Clark, at www.middlewaymedicine.com worked with us. The procedure itself was incredibly relaxing and interesting, but what struck me most was how he treated us and the energy that we felt from him. Haylee tends to be more reserved sharing at first, but I watched as he worked with her-listening to her pulse, asking questions, getting to know us, she was skeptical but softening with his loving energy. He took time and was intentional and thoughtful with every word he said. It was almost shocking and felt a little foreign to have someone treat us with such kindness and warmth. I wasn't sure where this would go for Haylee. As she lay there while the procedure worked she was feeling things but it was making her anxious on and off. Carl mentioned that there was a lot of work being done around the heart, and not necessarily all physical work.
The next day it was my turn. We spent most of the session talking and reviewing things-life trauma, hurts-physical and emotional, and more. At a certain point tears began to stream down my face and he held my hands. I said, "I always cry when people are nice to me." He said, "This is how people should treat you." He invited me to let go of my story-the story I've told myself for years...the abuse, the pain, the sadness...it isn't all sad, but that's what I was sharing with the purpose of getting help along with the residual physical pain from my story. He asked me to consider meditating and watching my thoughts as if I am watching a movie. In other words, sit with my thoughts but just observe them, don't possess them or judge them...take no action except to observe. I've meditated before but maybe being a filmmaker his analogy of watching a movie worked for me. I learned more in those few moments of kindess and attention than I feel like I have my whole life. I understood in that moment that any drama resulting from others opinions, family members struggles, negative or scary news, couldn't touch me if I learned to become an expert observer of my own thoughts. He continued to teach me that no matter what is going on out there in the world, I can be at peace right where I am. I have a right to that freedom and I can claim it by not participating in the story. We talked about God and his belief that God creates us in his image, which matched my beliefs. That God has a plan and purpose for me and it is a joy filled purpose. This I already believed but was struggling or should I say participating in struggle of the external world so it didn't feel natural. With just this gentle urging and suggestion of being an observer, my entire awareness has shifted.
I know that this awareness is only part of the work. Now the practice begins! The intention is to begin meditating again and spending more quiet moments and claiming my right to joy and freedom from drama. We talked about boundaries too and removing things that feel abusive and repeat the past story. Such a powerful thing to claim your right to joy! This realization feels life changing and I am ready! Interestingly, Haylee began sharing the day after her appointment. She asked to talk to me and began to share her thoughts, worries, and concerns-while skeptical and fearing this new strange practice, she began to open up the day after. She too has gained an awareness that will now help her on the path to healing.
Ultimately, we all can heal from anything past. We can release it and let it go. It will come with an active participation in redefining our divine right to be free. Free of drama, pain, judgement of yourself and others, and a life filled with joy. By claiming this, the body will follow, unwind, and eventually be pain free. It's all connected. My hope for our world is that we can sooner understand this as a collective so we all can consciously do our work to be free, in turn the world can begin to be free from drama, pain, and bad news. Growing up my mom would say, "There is only good going on." This is the truth that sets us free but we have to believe it first and more importantly ask for it, expect it, and allow for it!